One Fine Day

Okay, I've been meaning to tell this awesome story all week. Jacob has been sick and we've been wiping his nose regularly. So, last week he kept coming over to me and saying "I have a ball in my nose". I figured he meant "booger" since it is ball shaped. :) I wiped his nose. Then a few minutes later he comes over, says the same thing, and I wipe. Then, he comes again, and I say "let me see if I can get the booger" like any good mom, I was willing to stick my fingernail up there and grab the boogie. Well, to my shock and surprise, I see a shiny, silver BALL...yes, ball to be exact...more like plastic bead off a bracelet that broke. Well, I freaked, it was really up there and my nail couldn't reach it, and I was afraid to get it stuck up there more. So, the truly first thing I thought was, "this is just like in "One Fine Day" when the kid gets a marble stuck in his nose." Okay, I admit, I always relate my life to movies. :) If you know me, you are smiling right now. :) Anyway, I told him, like any good mom, not to stick things up his nose because then they will get stuck in his brain. He told the doctor that and I just innocently shrugged. :) hehe. Anyway, we get to the doctor, and 3 nurses are waiting with the proper "utensils" or whatever they are called, and the doctor lays him back, sticks the light up his nose, and....it's gone. It's not there. I immediately freak and also think "crap, now this doctor thinks I'm lying to get attention...like those people who go to the ER with made up stories". So, I then have to discuss the "finding" of so called bead...meaning, poo digging. Yuck. Then she said, "it could have come out on the way over." So with all my hopes... I get to the car praying to find the "ball booger" and yep, there it is...on the floor! I was so relieved! I shamefully admit, that I made the extra effort to take it inside to show them...mainly so they didn't think I was crazy! I plan on taping the ball boogie in his scrapbook. :) It definitely was One Fine Day. :) and ps, I'm not crazy!

Sleepless in Seattle

At Mara's grave with Heather and her two daughter's: Katrina and Natalie and their friend, Isabel.

At the Seattle Temple: just like old times: Marie, Heather and I used to go to the Provo temple weekly as roommates. This was a truly sacred experience.

At a fancy restaurant (literally, we had no idea what the menu said!) in downtown Seattle and then we saw "Memphis", a totally awesome musical! I hope it goes to Vegas so I can see it again!

Mara's grave...the real headstone is almost complete.

I know I haven't blogged for a while...and to tell the truth, I've been waiting for the right time to be able to fully express how I feel. I still don 't know if I can, but I'm going to try. I spent the last weekend in Seattle (well Auburn really) with my dear friend Heather. She recently lost her 6 year old daughter after a year long battle of brain cancer. She has a moving and beautiful story at maraadams.com. Heather, Marie and I were roommates for a year at BYU when we were 19. We met at 14 at EFY, a youth camp and were pen pals until college. We had a blast! There was always laughter and fun and that year...Marie and Heather both started seriously dating their now husbands. It was an exciting year.

Fast forward TEN years later! So much has happened, and yet, when I saw Heather after not seeing her for over 9 years, it was like I had just seen her the day before. I love that we could pick up right where we left off! It is a truly special friendship. I'm lucky to say I get to see Marie more often, she is from Vegas too. :) .

I got there almost 24 hours later than planned and had the luxury of spending the night in Detroit. (I had to talk a supervisor into giving me a room so I didn't have to crash in the airport all night!) But I survived and got to Seattle...so happy to be there and so happy to leave all the snow and ice here in Lexington! :) It was like springtime there! When I got there we went to see Mara's grave on the way to her home. It is a gorgeous cemetery that overlooks the city with a perfect view of Mt. Rainier. Mara is very close to the "Baby" cemetery and it is just beautiful. We all immediately started sobbing. Just seeing the new grass grow itself witnesses the passage of time...and it is so painful to know she is gone. Heather was kind to open up and share with us how she is feeling. I truly can't imagine the ache she must constantly feel. Yet, at the same time, there is an enormous peace about her that testifies that God is carrying her and Bryan at this time. She even related herself to the person in the poem, Footprints, and knows she is being carried.

The weekend flew by. We were able to see Mara's videos, art work, elementary school, the bulletin boards dedicated to her, and most precious, all her beautiful pictures. She was always happy, even until the end, with a smile and love for everyone. What a brave girl and example to us all. I came home a changed woman, wife, and especially, mother. I want to be more gentle, loving, pacient, caring, and generous with my time with my children.

I am so so so glad we decided to go to the temple. Really, the best word to describe it is: sacred. Being in the Lord's house, knowing this is the closest place on earth we can be to heaven, and knowing the veil is so thin, we just bawled in the Celestial Room for like 1 1/2 hours. I haven't cried so hard for so long...since I don't know when. But Heather shared with us Mara's last day and it was so touching. I sit here crying just remembering...what stood out the most was how Mara, more than anything, wanted her mommy and daddy to know she loved them. By this point, she couldn't talk anymore and was mostly blind...so she kept using her sign language sign for "I love you" over and over and over. She fought for 12 hours through the night...until in the morning, almost as if she waited for her siblings to wake up, to say goodbye. I am just so grateful for the knowledge of a plan that God has for us, to return to him, as families, and live eternally with Him. I don't know how I could live through life without that faith and assurance. I know Heather is anxiously awaiting that day, when she will be reunited with her baby girl, Mara. Maybe then we will all understand why Mara's life had to end so early. Until then, we must keep believing that it is in God's infinite wisdom, and He knows better than we do.